Hello. Here I am tentatively hanging out in a parking lot having “no overnight parking” in very large signs all over the place. I wonder what events caused this to occur? Personally, I have never seen anyone in this entire town sleeping in cars. However, I assume that my van is probably a lot more obvious than some. It’s hard to hide 200 watts of solar on the roof, a translucent smoke-colored fan bubble along with blacked-out windows and a partitioning curtain between the cockpit and the living quarters. I’d be interested to drive around here at night to see what I can see, but I’m a little reticent about doing so.
For all of the past period where I’ve been living here, I’ve been spending sleep-time while parked in my mother’s driveway. I’ve tried to find a job around here, but nobody appears to be hiring. While I was at a recruiter, one woman told me that when she was looking, nobody would hire her unless she knew somebody. It’s really quite ridiculous when there’s this supposed burgeoning economy. I don’t understand it.
In any case, I’ve been going through my transcription course after I was able to fix my MacBook. I was doing well with it while running through all of the lessons and transcribing the audio all over again. It was going well until the Mac broke again. Now, it won’t even boot into its recovery partition. Fortunately, I was able to procure a power supply for my Lenovo notebook computer running Windows 7. Unfortunately, it’s extremely underpowered even after putting the maximum memory into it. I’ve installed OpenOffice on it and purchased a new copy of ExpressScribe, but it lags whenever I play a video faster than 100 percent speed and transcribe simultaneously. There is also a lag whenever I periodically save my document. I have to enter all of my AutoCorrect entries to save typing all over again, but it doesn’t work the way that I expect. I also have to readjust to Windows’ way of navigating around the text. It’s also ill-equipped to simply surf the web. The Opera browser helps in that it’s much faster than IE, but that’s not saying much. I’m afraid of how bad it’s going to be once I install Audacity on it. It may just give up the ghost.
My hope is to get the MacBook fixed. I think it’s more than the hard drive that’s wrong. If that’s all it was, $20 and a reinstall would solve the problem. The Mac also has a poorly functioning Wi-Fi card and a non-functioning iSight camera. It also won’t recognize any of my TimeMachine backup drives.
As you’ve probably figured, my situation is far from ideal, but it’s all I have right now. Once I’m able to pass the transcription final, I can begin trying to earn a living. I think it’s a job that’s conducive for living on the road as long as I have adequate internet and quiet enough surroundings. However, I don’t think it’s going to pay much, at least to start, but it’ll be more than $0.00.
Thus far in my “adventure,” I have not had the opportunity to do any off-grid, vanlife-type living as I’ve been helping my parents; as much as my mother will let me help. I want to stay around here so that I can, but it’s hard and frustrating. I had a panic/anxiety attack today due to my mother’s morning yelling at <> and the world. I just couldn’t take it. It was making me physically ill and had to run out of the house with half a mug of coffee in my hand. She continues to be uninformed and ignorant about it. I haven’t found the right words without the vitriolic, negative baggage that have evolved around the previous two words. She just genuinely doesn’t know and can’t appear to relate. It seems that everybody I know either can’t or doesn’t want to know or understand. I’m not sure that I understand it either. It’s hard to keep going and have a positive outlook after any progress or aspirations in my life had been washed away in a seemingly virulent flood of errant voltage short-circuiting my brainwaves. One would think there were drugs involved, but there aren’t any. I wish that it was so easily explained. Am I so unrelatable? My existence has become demoralizing and I’m really losing hope; that perpetual hold-out for positivity that either never arrives or when chased, always maintains 30 feet of distance no matter how quickly one tries to catch up.
It’s such a gloomy day today, which is fitting based on my mood. I feel that I am truly alone.