Bats!

“Shit,” I said when I heard the tell-tale clicking which was quickly met with my eyes glancing at the bat flying near the edge of my coffered ceiling. The dog was calm yet had a puzzled look on her face. The cat, at least initially, was positioned on the lower shelf of the coffee table, keeping watch.

I, on the other hand, am freaking out just a bit while holding my hand above my head looking for an alternate room where the bat isn’t. I initially run outside the front door sans glasses and shoes. I stand for a minute thinking about what to do; thinking about the pets and what could happen. I then make it back inside slowly. I hear the clicking. I look to see where the pets are looking. Making my way through the back of the house and into the kitchen, I find a broom and hold it upside down to protect me from the bat accidentally flying at my head. Fortunately, his echolocation senses noticed me and didn’t enter the kitchen.

I’ve been through this before when I first bought the house, so I know a little about what to expect. The first time I had this experience, I was ironically watching a Black Sabbath documentary. This time, I was watching the latest episode of Live Work Wander, which is a bit less ironic. I also recall that we legally had to put up with it for most of the summer until their nesting season ended. I have captured some in the past and relocated them in Devou Park. Good times.

So, as it turns out, there are two bats flying around my living room, presumably trying to get out. I open a window to try to assist when they’re not flying around, but they don’t seem to take the option (one eventually does because I don’t see him anymore).

Meanwhile, Otis is swatting at the bats trying to bring them down. He succeeds in nabbing one of them, but it regained the air after being momentarily stunned. So, after the remaining bat settled down in an upside down position while clinging to a piece of moulding along the stairs, I let him be. The guilt, though, of leaving it with the pets around was awful. Bats are a lot more energetic at night and correspondingly more lethargic during the day. I figured that my best opportunity for capturing it would be during the day. Otherwise, he would start flying around the room again, potentially biting me or one of the other animals.

The last time I had a bat infestation, it cost me over $700. Not only do I not have that, but this house that was once mine, isn’t anymore. I’m just living in it until they kick me out or I’m ready to leave. I don’t want the pets to get hurt though a bite, so I still have to do something.

After coffee this morning, I grabbed a green tote with a cover along with the broom from earlier, and knocked it into the tote, and then closed the cover. Unfortunately, I did not have time to transport him to my typical location for his relocation, but left him in the tote. I’ll do something this evening when I get off work. He should be fine until then.

UPDATE

The bat has been freed. He was quite alive inside the container. It took a little jostling to get him to realize he could fly out of the box.

Kratom: First Impressions

As I have previously mentioned in this blog, I have problems with anxiety and depression for which I’ve been trying to find a cure and/or relief for most of my entire adult life. Presently, it has paralyzed my ability to make any major decisions out of sheer fear. Even small decisions, such as figuring out the most efficient way to do some tasks leaves me unable to move forward. I have also been plagued with sensitivities to sudden noises and interruptions to my concentration. These are some of the problems that I’m experiencing.

In the most recent past, I have tried many different things of which I may write about in a future post, but for today, I want to specifically write about my first time taking Kratom.

For the uninitiated, Kratom is a plant of Indonesian origin which also goes by the name mitragyna speciosa. There are different kinds of strains for different uses. Some have sedative effects. Others provide a boost of energy or help with mental clarity. It is even used to assist in opiate withdrawal by some. Others use it for PTSD. It typically comes in capsules or powder form which is either brewed into a tea or chased with orange juice or hot chocolate (because it doesn’t taste so great).

Based on my research, I chose to go with a Super Green Indo strain. I needed this for an energy boost, but also to alleviate my anxiety.

I started out today, before breakfast, with a level ½ teaspoon of the powder. This powder is really dense and compact. I originally was going to mix it with the juice, but when I dumped it in, it stayed clumped together in the shape of the spoon, so I didn’t bother to mix it. Instead, I just chugged it as-is; swallowing it as if it was a giant pill.

I started noticing the effects after about an hour after ingesting it. My mood lifted, I wasn’t as anxious, and I didn’t feel like I was on anything. As the day went on, it seems like the effects intensified a little bit. I was able to focus on tasks for a sustained amount of time. I have to say that I’m really impressed thus far. The only side effects were a very slight nausea in the beginning that went away, and a slight headache concentrated in my eyes, but very minor in intensity.

I think that I’m going to half the amount to ¼ teaspoon tomorrow to gauge the difference from today’s experience. I’ll report here, in a new post, on my findings.

Disclaimer

In case you’re interested, do your research before making the plunge. I am only writing about my experience. It’s not something you should necessarily do. Everyone is different, and thus, may have different needs or solutions than me. Please be careful.

False starts

So, it’s ten days before Christmas, but it doesn’t feel like it. Since my last update, I haven’t completed much. I’m still unemployed. I still haven’t resolved many of the issues with the van even though I have some money to do so. The reasons would seem silly to the normal person, but I’ve been gripped with an immense amount of paralyzing anxiety where I haven’t been able to make a decision regarding it or many other things. Given my track record of failure these past few years, I’m just terrified of continuing this awful trend.

Case in point, I finally made the decision to replace the shift selenoids and filter in the transmission. However, when driving it a couple of days ago, I notice that it is really slipping. I have to apply a little gas before it will start to catch. It does accelerate well, but only in first gear. Under heavy acceleration, it will really slip a lot. Even if I replace the selenoids, it won’t solve the slippage problem, which has become more obvious to me. I bought the parts, but I’m not going to be able to install them.

I did manage to replace the rotor, distributor cap, spark plugs, and wires from an Accel kit that I ordered online. This was easy enough. I am a little concerned about the condition of the plugs. Every one of them was dirty; having some sort of oil on them. It seems rather weird that every one of them had this issue. If it was burning oil, wouldn’t it only be some cylinders and not all of them?

In any case, the job itself was the second easiest turn-up I performed next to the 3.0 straight-6 in the BMW 330xi. The part that helped make it really easy was the engine’s accessibility through the inside of the vehicle. It provided me with a comfortable place to kneal as well as a shield from the cold and wind. It really beats breaking my back while leaning over a fender to get the engine compartment while being fully exposed to the elements.

I was also able to replace the MAP sensor, PCV valve as well as a free-flowing air filter. I also plan to replace some more of the sensors such as a temperature sensor, oxygen sensors. I know that I’m not really experiencing any particular problems that would require these things to be replaced, but I want to ensure that it’s running as well and as efficiently as it can.

I am going to call a transmission place on Monday to see how they’ll access the problem. I’m not going to attempt to rebuild the transmission myself. It’s much more than I can handle myself.

Future van plans

Much of the other plans for it depend on how much the transmission is going to cost to fix it. Here are the items needed, at a minimum, to have it be roadworthy. This does not include the items needed to have it camper-ready.

Primary items

• Transmission
• Exhaust
• Tires (including the spare)
• Front suspension which may include coil springs and shocks.
• Rear shocks
• Left headlight cuts in and out. I may replace them with LED lights if possible.

Secondary items

• Fuel gauge stuck at half-way mark. The problem lies either the gauge or the float.
• Wiper/cruise control stalk is falling apart.
• Backup camera since it doesn’t have a rear-view mirror.
• A/C
• Proper radio mounting

I’m sure that there are more items I could add to this list, but this is what I have at the moment. I will probably make this list on a separate page apart from the regular blog entries. In the interim, this is the current list.

Van plans – the prequel

My plans for the van are going to amp up a little bit from what they’ve been these past few months. It’s finally registered for the year and insured for a full six months. To keep its limbo from causing problems, I’ve been starting the engine and letting it run for 20 minutes once per week. It helps keep the battery in shape along with the other components.

My next priority regarding the van lies with the transmission. As my last blog entry revealed, it won’t shift out of first gear. Previously, before topping the fluid, it wouldn’t shift at all once it warmed up. It also had delays in getting into gear, so this is an improvement. I’ve read about solutions such as vacuum or other linkage adjustments, but I’m unsure which solution would apply. The question is whether I attempt to fix it myself starting with the cheapest and easiest options. If I take it someplace, I don’t want them to immediately say that it needs a rebuild if the solution is much simpler. On one hand, I could save money if the symptoms match exactly to what someone else had done. On the other, I could be wasting time and money. I’ll see if I can get a recommendation from someone.

I want to tackle this first because it’s the biggest obstacle to being able to drive it other than through the local streets at 25 MPH. Otherwise, I could damage the transmission.

The next pressing item is the tires as well as the front shocks and/or springs followed by the exhaust. I may be able to do the exhaust myself. I could also do the shocks as well, but not if it needs springs. I don’t think that I have the tools for that. Once it’s more roadworthy, I can map out an interior design that would include a bed, storage, insulation, water tanks, sink, a 12v fridge and burners.

Of course, I have some work to do on the house as well. I have to budget my money wisely if I want to satisfy both worlds, not to mention searching for new employment.

Registration and other tales

After a multiple month hiatus, I finally got the van registered and insured. The process was pretty painless and certainly less painful than I remember. It essentially involved getting car insurance, getting a temp tag, transporting the van over to the DMV for a Sheriff’s inspection, and then finally getting a permanent tag. It took less than 90 minutes including going back home and picking up the van.

The mechanical health of it, on the other hand, is less than stellar. It started just fine, went into gear without a hesitation like it had done in the past; before I put a bunch of transmission fluid in it.

The big problem is that it wouldn’t shift into a higher gear; it remained at a high rev. Additionally, the front springs seem to be shot, and I sometimes hear a shortly lived grinding noise when I start from a stopped position. I’m wondering if there’s a differential problem too.

In other news, I resigned from my job yesterday. I felt forced to do so amidst pressure and badgering from a high-pitched, chalkboard-like drawling from a narcissistic witch. I’ll admit that this job was not the right fit for me, but I gave it a shot. Ultimately, I have entirely too much anxiety to ultimately do well at all aspects of it. It was only compounded by the seemingly constant berating by her. After a private discussion with my supervisor, I knew where things were going to eventually lead anyway given her influence.

So, after work that day, I decided to get a burger and a few beers from down the street; 20 blocks down the street. It still seems weird to me that I can just go down the street, even if it is 20 blocks, and get a burger and beers. At any rate, they were very good. I started with a milk stout, which lived up to its name. It had this weird milk-type texture but it was still a stout. Next, I had a Sierra Nevada citrus-type beer (IPA?) that was much better along with my burger. Surprisingly, my wife came and drove me home. I was able to retrieve the pickup after I sobered up.

So, I wound up not going into work and then resigning that afternoon. I just couldn’t deal with the work environment any longer. I don’t think it was ever going to get any better. After a day of being in bed, I got around to doing the aforementioned things today.

I was also able to visit the library today to borrow (rent for free) two movies and a book. We’ll see how those go.

What troubles me now is that after calling my wife and telling her about what happened, there was little empathetic response from her. After responding to her question of, “How do you feel about that?”, she asks me if she can borrow money for her car payment. No consolation or concern for me. It’s about what I could do for her. It just makes me fell lessened in value. Never mind that I just became unemployed and may be feeling down from it (I am). It hurts, but it’s the same things all over again. Themes like downplaying my birthday as if it’s nothing while expecting opposite treatment, and secretly bashing me to her friends, which she is probably doing right now. Not being able to talk with her about a major life decision because she’s bitching about her Amazon Tap not working with her WiFi.

I’m just feeling shitty now. It makes me reconsider reconciliation being possible because she seems so heartless. I’m at a loss of what to do about it. Perhaps this is what I bought the van for.

Update

After trying to understand how I feel, I turned upon this article about emotional abandonment. Is it too much to ask to have some emotional support during the downturns of life? Is it too much to expect some reciprocity when you provide this kind of support to your significant other? I feel so alone right now, like I’m only worthy of love when I succeed and I’m on my own when I don’t. I don’t treat others this way, so why am I treated this way? I’m sorry to whine about it, but this is my only outlet to express these things.

Smoke Alarm Season

Tale from the Fireman’s Crypt

Prompt-a-muse

So here’s an interesting story, or should I say a major friggin’ design flaw. I was politely reminded today via makeshift banner to change the batteries in my smoke detectors. No doubt, this is meant to coincide with daylight savings time or the lack thereof. I really can’t remember whether we’re taking away or removing an hour from our schedules, but “Fall Back” seems to indicate we’re getting an extra hour of sleep. Yay!

In any case, my roundabout trip figuring out which alarm was chirping at me at 2 AM in the morning was quite the frustrating endeavor.

Now, I have a large house. Technically, it’s three stories if you include the full staircase to get to the attic. I have alarms of this kind all over the freaking place. Trying to find the offending alarm amounted to a game of Marco Polo.

Here I am lying in bed…

View original post 168 more words

Coffee at the P-era

Coffee at the P-era

It’s a Saturday following the first week of training for my new job. The first morning to sleep in my own bed. My living-elsewhere-wife (whom I love) was nice enough to take care of my pets while I was gone as well as to clean up the house a bit. I used to be much cleaner, but I’ve lost motivation this past year and a half with the separation. While we were living together, it was the opposite. She would seldom, if ever, clean. It seemed that I was doing almost all of it. Lately, I’m of the attitude, “what’s the point?”

In any case, I’m writing some of this at the Panera Bread while having two buttered bagels, chocolate-filled croissant and coffee in a mug. The mug part is nice when you’re out and about. I do this at Starbucks as well. They even discount my coffee by ten cents (from what I remember) when I have it this way. It’s so much more satisfying and it tastes so much better in a mug. I don’t know why. Perhaps it’s the heat retention, the feeling of the ceramic against my lips, or the subtle taste or sensation difference when sipping out of it. Regardless, I highly recommend it. All you need to append to an order of a Venti Vanilla Latte is , “in a mug,” and they’ll do it.

A footnote to the $0.10 mug discount at Starbucks is that there isn’t one unless you bring in your own cup. They must have been giving me the discount anyway. I’m not complaining though. It’s still a good idea.

In my home life, my intense irritation from the dogs’ noises is back. They were very glad to see me when I came back home though. After awhile, the constant demand for attention was starting to get on my nerves. There seems to be nothing worse than not being allowed to let yourself concentrate on something because you’re expecting to be jarringly interrupted. I emphasis jarringly because that is exactly what it feels like. It’s like someone slapping you hard in the face while you’re in the hard, REM phase of sleep. I can’t take the abrupt switch between modes. It’s very upsetting to me. Fortunately, they didn’t make any noises during sleeping hours. For the record, the interruptions are really getting on my nerves. I love the dogs, but they are having somewhat of a toll on my sanity. I’m don’t think that I’m exaggerating.

I feel guilty because they’re so sweet. It’s obvious that they’re not intending to cause me pain. They’re just dogs doing dog things. If I could train them differently, I would try.

Regarding my current mode of transportation, I’m thinking that my brakes may need to be replaced. The pedal doesn’t feel right. The only problem with this is that I don’t have a lug wrench, which is supposed to come with the car, to take the wheels off to do the job. I have no idea how much they cost. $50? $100? I don’t have this kind of money right now. At it is, my wife is trying to help monetarily at least until I get my first paycheck. I barely have enough to buy food, pet food, and gas. I can’t even pay my mortgage.

In any case, I need to get going and try to fix this car. I’ve looked up the cost of a lug wrench and it’s only $15 – $30 at O’Reilly’s. Harbor Freight has them for $10, but I’m not positive that they have them in stock. Take care.

UPDATE

It turns out that my right inner pad was pretty bad on the S-10. It’s interesting that the other caliper’s pads were in much better shape. However, I didn’t notice any pulling to one side when braking. It’s also interesting that I didn’t hear any pre-warning that the pads were getting low. Hmm. Is one of them not working? I don’t know.

In any case, I did the poor man’s brake job this time since I qualify for that status. I tested it and all was good. I have rear brake pads that I intended to use for the Extreme that had the major bridge accident, but I didn’t put them on today. I was thinking that it may be the fronts and I was correct in thinking that. I had no idea they were that bad though. Based on the picture, I definitely need a new rotor, but I’ll have to wait until I can afford to fix it.

I also purchased a lug wrench. It was only $20 from O’Reilly, so I’m finally have something to take my wheel off when I need to do so.

U/Dys topia

In looking through my Apple notes, I came across some pondering questions I had previously written as a reflection on a video featured on social media some time ago. Van-related? I’m not sure, but worthy of thought before getting on the bandwagon of societal perfection.

• What chains will you exchange for the world you think that you want or the world others think you should want?
• What chains will you force others to bind for the world you think that they should want?

The Noise

Here I lay once again before I go to sleep, having earned the relative quiet I desperately craved earlier. I only hear the occasional car whizzing past the 25 MPH city limit interspersed with the sound of the cat cleaning himself.

As I said, Earlier had a different set of parameters. Earlier had my fingers pressing into my scalp as a reaction for deal with my ears’ pain of my dogs’ barking.

And <poof> …the quiet is gone. Earlier has returned. Chaos has been restored. I just want some uninterrupted sleep. I may just sleep in the van tonight to get some.

Creative blog posts

I’m writing to announce that I’ll be writing any daily prompts and other creative blog challenges over at Prompt-a-Muse so the content here doesn’t get mucked up. The usual calamity that is my life and my van will remain here. Thanks.